Noiseless Chatter Archive

Before I got a chance to watch these episodes, I made a point of avoiding spoilers. One thing I did read from folks who had gotten a head start on me, though, was that the first few episodes were a bit exposition-y…stick with them, however, and things only get better. Watching these first few episodes, then, actually had me feeling like I might fall in love with this season. After all…I liked them. I had some reservations, but they were nothing insurmountable. And if they only got better? Well, then this really could have been something magical. Looking back, though, I think the first few episodes are actually the best the season has to offer. They at least succeed in telling their own smaller stories, and give us tantalizing glimpses of what’s to come…rather than the clumsy, cheap editing that takes its place later. I’m thinking specifically of something “Borderline Personalities” does perfectly, which itself feels like the fulfillment of a promise you didn’t even ...

I don’t know if I like this season of Arrested Development . Of course, I don’t know if I dislike it either. As I write this review of the first episode, I’m only halfway through the batch. This has given me, I think, an interesting vantage point: I’m far enough along that I get a sense of what the season is trying to do, but not far enough along that I know how it pulls everything — or fails to pull everything — together. What I do know is that this season — with its unique structure, twisting timelines and gradual plot reveals — had the potential to be the best one yet. It isn’t. A lot of this is due to the simple fact that Mitch Hurwitz couldn’t get the cast’s schedules to align. (There were reportedly some budgetary setbacks as well but I don’t know anything about those.) Without the ability to get every actor in the same room at the same time on every day of filming, Hurwitz splintered his narrative. In one episode we’ll see what GOB is up to, in another we’l...

So I just realized that I wanted to review every episode of Arrested Development season four and The Venture Bros. season five. And they’re back to back. Arrested Development is currently streaming (I’ve made it through around four episodes) and The Venture Bros. starts June 2, so I think there’s going to be some overlap. What I’ll probably do is space out the Arrested Development ones for a while, since they’re not time sensitive and were dropped in one big lump on the viewing public, while The Venture Bros. is airing on a traditional weekly schedule. Who knows what I’ll get up to. What I thought would be a nice easy way to WRITE THINGS ON THE BLOG I OWN now actually feels really intimidating. Is there either show you think I should prioritize? Or do you not care about anything I have to say ever?

FTC Disclosure: I received a copy of this book in exchange for review. No money changed hands and all opinions presented here are my own. Here’s something not many people know about me: I used to wait tables. It wasn’t something I did for very long, thank goodness, but I was rather good at it, if my tips were any accurate measure of such a thing. I came home from work dead tired and drained, but I was making great money. I had had no training whatsoever, and it wasn’t a job I was interested in keeping, but I was doing very well at it. Here’s why: waiting is customer service. That’s it. Once you wrap your head around that, it becomes a lot less intimidating. You might think the most important thing is to get the food to your tables quickly, or to make sure you’re refilling drinks before they have to ask, or to make pleasant conversation, and all of those are certainly good things, yes, but ultimately you’re there to, as Simon and Garfunkel once put it, keep the cus...

Well, I didn’t expect to catch the final episode of The Office , but I did. I was looking for something to watch, saw a retrospective documentary on the show followed by a new episode, and remembered — oh yeah… — this show is ending now. So I tuned in, and the format of the episode kind of suited the fact that I hadn’t been watching for a while. I saw a few episodes of season 9 (up to the point where one of the new guys tries to date rape Erin and nobody has a problem with that) and then tuned out. But “Finale” is structured to check in on these characters after an artificial absence. We’re catching up with everyone, even as we’re saying goodbye. The fact that there really was an absence for me might have worked in its favor, or maybe it didn’t. But it should have. It also probably should have been a little better than it was. The episode’s central conceit is that the documentary crew has finished filming and the series has aired. Now, for whatever reason, they’re...

  The heat doesn’t get to me, but I know it takes a toll on the other buyers. I’m going to use it to my advantage. There’s probably no more tiresome criticism of reality television than the parroted claim that “it isn’t real.” It’s a meaningless comment that misses the point entirely. The Simpsons aren’t real either, nor were the group of friends who hung around Central Perk, nor were those wisecracking doctors in the Korean War. Ultimately, none of that matters. The aim of any television show — of any kind, in any genre, from any time period — is singular: to entertain enough people that it remains profitable. You’ll fool only yourself if you try to think otherwise. Of course the difference between reality shows and my other examples above is that reality shows are populated with people rather than characters. Right? In Storage Wars professional pest Dave Hester is a man who really exists, of the same name, who really does buy storage lockers for a living. ...

I’ve written about this before (on a different blog; don’t bother looking for it…it’s not there anymore) but I’m still kind of intrigued by the question: is there any other individual musician who has had as large an impact on the way we speak and express ourselves verbally as Paul Simon? It sounds hyperbolic, I know, but what I’m referring to are the specific turns of phrase he’s injected into our every day speech…little verbal flourishes that meant little or absolutely nothing before he gave them meaning, and gave them to us. Just look at this list of song titles (just the titles, mind you) and ask yourself how many times you’ve seen exactly these, or some very close variation somewhere, used in a headline, a caption, an anecdote, or anything else: 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover Feelin’ Groovy Bridge Over Troubled Water The Sound of Silence Loves Me Like a Rock Homeward Bound Something So Right Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes Slip Slidin’ Away A Hazy Shade of W...