Noiseless Chatter Archive

Hey, remember this series? It just goes to show that nothing ever dies here at Noiseless Chatter. I just stop writing and you stop visiting. Anyway, an old coworker got in touch and told me that Shower With Your Dad Simulator 2015 was only 99 cents on Steam, and I should review it on my blog. So here I am! See? You whiners complain about lack of content…but all you actually need to do is text me a polite request to cover something, and I will. It’s that simple, and you have no excuse for not doing it. (I’m not giving you my phone number.) This one is…well, it has a title, and that title is Shower With Your Dad Simulator 2015 , so that might as well be my review right there. It’s obviously meant in a jokey sort of way (I hope); a riff on the influx of “Simulator” games that I guess are really common. At least, I keep hearing that they’re really common, but I have to confess that for every actual simulator game I know of there seems to be four or five jokey ones mak...

Hello everybody! It’s been ages since I posted anything so how about I post something! I’m kind of in the middle of a move and sorting some other things out so hopefully we can get things cleared up and I’ll be back to posting partially-informed horseshit again, or maybe I’ll finally do those Venture Bros. reviews I promised…but until then, why not unwind with a game so cheap, you can buy it with two quarters and get change? (You can’t really, because your payment has to be made digitally.) As always, click pictures to enlargenate. Yes, it’s Bad Rats: The Rats’ Revenge , the game so nice they named it twice! …but then only used one of the names anywhere in the game. Seriously, I never saw “The Rats’ Revenge” anywhere but the page from which I bought the game. I guess they realized at some point that it wasn’t technically revenge if the animal they spend all their time killing never did anything to them in the first place but WHAT DO I KNOW. The game opens with a ...

Let me take you on a journey through the past, to a magical time in our great planet’s history. I’ll set the scene for you: A bleary-eyed world disconnects from Facebook for two and a half hours in order to watch a film about Facebook. An animated show called The Simpsons celebrates 20 years on the air, eight and a half of which were worth watching. A young Jessica Simpson releases an album of warbling Christmas standards in the hopes that it will generate enough money that she can do her own holiday shopping. And America comes, at last, to the tragic realization that their new president isn’t a Magic Negro after all…but is rather, disappointingly, just an extremely intelligent leader with his nation’s best interests at heart. Yes, it’s 2010. And no I did not use a time machine to get us here…I simply inserted a dollar into Steam and downloaded World Basketball Manager 2010 , the absolute best 2010 simulator I have ever played. I haven’t played it yet…I’m about to p...

Hello and welcome to a brand new series that I thought of just now, while writing this sentence, which is good, because if I hadn’t thought of one I’m not sure where I’d go with this. This is $1 Adventures , wherein I spend one dollar on Steam, hoping to end up having an experience that’s worth far more than that. Say, $1.01. Steam is a digital distribution service that’s home to many great games, and sales are regular and plentiful. In fact, sales are so frequent that I end up downloading tons of games that I never even find time to play. Obviously, then, the best thing for me to do is start a series in which I download even more, focusing on games that are likely shit. As far as rules go, that’s the only one: spend no more than a dollar. That may be the game’s normal price, that may be its sale price…it doesn’t matter. I’ll then play through the game and assess its actual worth, which is legally binding I think. And where better to start than Las Vegas, where y...