Noiseless Chatter Archive

Hello I am not dead and I owe you all an update BUT YOU KNOW THAT ALREADY so instead let me turn it over to Casey Roberson, who is hosting this year’s Xmas Bash (and who has organized the entire thing, which means it will be worth watching for a change). Be sure to tune in Saturday at 7 p.m. Eastern and I’ll probably see you there! Or some of the words that you type into the chatroom. Here’s the info… — Hey everybody, it’s me, your Xmas Bash Host, Casey, that’s me, and I’ll be hosting this year’s 2021 Xmas Bash, the most Xmas fun you’ll have unless you’re on the really expensive meds. This is what I look like, so you can be ready to mute my hosting segments for maximum enjoyment. The Bash falls on December 18 this year, and will run from 7PM to Midnight Eastern. Here’s the rundown of what you can expect to see during those five hours: 8 holiday episodes of TV shows from the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s 12 Christmas music videos (at least) 20+ vintage Christmas commercials 7 ...

Just a quick note to say that there will be an Xmas Bash this year, but I will not be hosting it. Friend of the website Casey Roberson is taking over as host, handling the programming, and probably doing other things that can’t be mentioned in polite company. (Friend of the website Adam Lore has provided the promotional artwork.) The event benefits The Trevor Project and seems like it will consist of similar content to previous Bash events. I say “seems like” because I have no idea what you will or won’t see, so that will be a nice change of pace for me. TV episodes, music, chat, nonsense, the whole nine yards. You can register at this Facebook link , where more information will be posted as it becomes available. I hope you are all well and I hope to see you there. Thank you.

There’s no reason to dance around it: The Xmas Bash is cancelled this year. I’m sorry. That’s something else I don’t want to dance around; I am very sorry. If you’re still reading, we can dance a little now. I live in a state of being constantly overwhelmed. Those of you who know me in real life — and probably at least a few of you who only know me from my various creative endeavors — will already know that I do that to myself. Certainly many things happen unexpectedly, but I keep myself in a state of extreme busyness at almost all times. I sign up for things I probably won’t have time for, and then I force myself to make time for them. I feel one project winding down — and the relief that comes with that — but immediately launch into something else. I’m rarely working on only one thing. That’s a coping mechanism, I’ve learned; the more I overwhelm myself, the less attention I can spare for what’s happening around me. That was very helpful in my childhood, and I nev...

Things have been quiet, so let me address that first. 50% of the reason for that is me being busy. I submitted another draft of my book to the publisher at the end of July, and I’ve been working regularly on scripts for Triple Jump . Subscribe to them if you haven’t, because they’re fantastic. In fact, the latest video I wrote happened to be uploaded today. Check it out and get a sense of why Triple Jump is a large — though rewarding — time investment: Yeah. That’s 72 minutes of me going on about Batman games, and obviously the time it took to research them, find them, and play them was…well, you can imagine what it was. I’ve also been working at my actual job, of course, and moving into the home I recently bought. That’s…a lot. The rest of it, though, is me being drained and fatigued and frustrated by the world and what’s happening in this country specifically. It’s disheartening to see photos of overcrowded detention centers and to read the stories of mistreatment...

Thank you all for tuning in! The Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash is over for another year. I hope you all enjoyed. This year, I exposed you to… The 6th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! (2017): Lazy Town – “Lazy Town’s Surprise Santa” Perfect Strangers – “The Gift of the Mypiot” The Christmas Tree The Twilight Zone – “Night of the Meek” What’s Happening!! – “Positive Identification” Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp – “There’s No Business Like Snow Business” Kolchak: The Night Stalker – “The Werewolf” If you haven’t donated to The Trevor Project , please consider doing so. And, hey. Have a merry Christmas.

It’s happening right now!  Come join us at the 6th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash.  Terrible Xmas specials, live chat, strange music, and two or three other things! To attend, visit gotomeet.me/xmasbash .  It’s GoToMeeting, which is a reputable service so don’t panic if it asks you to start a launcher or something.  GoToMeeting also has a free app if you prefer to watch that way.  You should be able to attend by entering with the meeting ID “xmasbash”. Chat is separate this year.  Join in by visiting discordapp.com/invite/wGXcsKr .  You shouldn’t have to register an email address or anything.  Sorry for the inconvenience of two windows, but if you prefer, you can use your computer for one and a mobile device for the other!  hohoho! And, of course, please consider donating to The Trevor Project . But enough of my yakking.  What do you say?  Let’s boogie.

We are almost there! As of this posting, the Xmas Bash! is just two days away. Surely you’ve marked your calendar by now, but if your calendar was destroyed in a blaze, here’s the information again. The 6th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! Saturday Dec. 8, 7 p.m. Eastern To join in, just come to this very website at the appointed time and click the links. That’s all you’ll have to do! Yes, links, plural this year. Livestream has served us very well as a service for the past few events, but this year its price is exorbitant. We’re moving on to a different (but still great) service, so that’s fine but…well, it doesn’t have a chat solution that actually works for an event like this. As such, we will be streaming through GoToMeeting and hosting the chat through Discord . I know it sucks having to have two browser windows open, but GoToMeeting’s chat functionality wasn’t allowing for more than 10 people to chat openly, which is a huge problem for an event like this. (...

At 7 Eastern, I’ll be testing what I hope is this year’s streaming solution for the Xmas Bash! The room is open right now, so pop on in! [EDIT: it’s over] It’s GoToMeeting, which is a legitimate, reputable service so don’t panic if you asks you to install a launcher. It’s not spyware or anything awful. Also, a free app is available, and you can watch that way by entering the meeting ID “xmasbash.” I’m really hoping this works tonight. If I can get a reliable stream going with decent chat functionality, I’m set…and I hopefully will be for the next few years. So if you have time, pop over and help me find out if I’ll be relaxing for the next six days or seeking out alternatives in a desperate scramble. Hohoho! We’ll be watching two specials at the test stream, totaling about an hour. One is Xmas related, but not something I’ve yet found a home for in the Bash! The other is not Xmas related, but I think you will agree it is important viewing for the youth of America....

This is your friendly reminder that this year’s Xmas Bash! is one week from today! You won’t want to miss it. You might want to miss it. I have no way of knowing. But! It’s a hell of a lot of fun and you should tune in. All you have to do is visit this very site at the appointed time! The 6th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! Saturday Dec. 8, 7 p.m. Eastern Five hours, seven forgotten Xmas specials, vintage commercials, Xmas music you’ll wish you’ve never heard, and many more surprises. So, yes, mark your calendars, set a reminder, tattoo it on your chest, whatever you usually do to remember things. You can also RSVP on Facebook , which is not mandatory but which will both remind you and handle pesky time zone calculations for you. Anyway, the streaming service that has served us so well for the past couple of years is no longer an option, so this year I’m trying something new. To make sure everything goes smoothly the night of the stream, I’m going to hold a brief...

It’s nearly time for this year’s Xmas Bash!, and as you can see from the image above, I’m hard at work on getting everything ready. So mark your calendars and clear your night for… The 6th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! Saturday Dec. 8, 7 p.m. Eastern It’s going to be a great one. I know I say that every year, but just ask anyone who’s been to them and you will find that I AM ALWAYS TELLING THE TRUTH. The Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! is a one-night-only live event, so, seriously, don’t miss it. It’s a live stream of seven forgotten Xmas specials that I’ve dragged screaming from their graves, where they were quite comfortable. Sprinkled throughout the night are vintage commercials, bizarre Xmas music videos, host segments, original songs, and many more surprises. Which seven specials will we air? It’s a secret! Each one is like a tiny little Xmas gift you get to unwrap with friends who are probably drunk and who are definitely going to make fun of it. It’s great!...

Happy Labor Day! Let’s talk about Halloween and Christmas. The two biggest holidays for this blog are closer than you may realize. I recently announced my Halloween plans on the official Facebook page , so be sure to follow that if you aren’t already. It’s sometimes easier for me to push quick news there if I don’t have time to write an actual post. In short, I’ve been busy with the book lately, so don’t worry…I haven’t stopped writing, even if this blog seems a bit slow lately. You’re going to get a really great, long, intensive piece in physical form, and it’s horror-related, so I know it’s something you’ll enjoy. Just be patient; I will make the official announcement as soon as I can. To make up for my online absence, though, this year’s Trilogy of Terror feature will be getting a bonus entry in the form of the long-overdue return of Fiction Into Film. Fiction Into Film is a series I deeply enjoy writing for, and one I truly love, but it’s also one that takes a massi...

I hope you enjoyed this year’s Xmas Bash! Thanks for drilling with me this year! Now I’m looking forward to not thinking about it for around 20 minutes, before I start planning the next one. In case you need to reference the episodes for your therapist, tonight we watched… The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! (2017): The Cosby Show – “Getting to Know You” Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers – “I’m Dreaming of a White Ranger” Inspector Gadget – “Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas” Thunderbirds – “Give or Take a Million” Dog With a Blog – “Twas the Fight Before Christmas” Good Times – “The Traveling Christmas” Kung Fu: The Legend Continues – “A Shaolin Christmas” As a special gift, please enjoy this complementary download of Now That’s What I Call Xmas Bash! Vol. 1 . This mix includes songs from each of the previous Bash!es, barring the first which was not musical in the slightest. There’s also a special unused demo from Adam Lore. Download it. Respect it. Love it. ...

Ho ho ho, it’s Xmas Bash! time! (Almost.) To join in the fun, just click this link! I’m posting this reminder almost exactly 24 hours before it begins, so be sure to tune in at the following time: The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! Dec. 8, 2017 5 pm Mountain / 7 pm Eastern That’s it! You get the link early this year, because you’ve all been good little boys and girls, so be sure to register a free account so you can join in the rowdy fun in the chatroom and make fun of me. I can take it! Really, I can’t! Also, we will be soliciting donations throughout the night to defray medical costs for Emily Suess . You can of course feel free to donate to her ahead of time as well, so you won’t have to take your eyes off all the awful things I’m going to show you. Christmas specials, music, vintage commercials, comedy, magic, and so much more. Don’t miss it!

There’s a topic I’d actually like to talk about for a bit today, but first: the Xmas Bash! is Friday, which means it’s time for one last reminder… The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! Dec. 8, 2017 5 pm Mountain / 7 pm Eastern Just visit this very website at the appointed time, and you’re there! Alright. I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago about this year’s Xmas Bash! It’s no secret that I look forward to this event every year, and my heart grows three sizes every time I hear from somebody else that they do, too. People often try to get me to reveal what I’m going to show ahead of time, or at least give them a hint, but I never do. I like surprises. And I think that’s at least part of the fun as a viewer, as well, whether that’s conscious or not. Unwrapping little gifts one by one…finding out what’s inside…it’s a rush. It’s never a thrill to unwrap something you knew was coming, even if it’s what you wanted. The surprise is part of the gift. So I...

We are entering the homestretch. The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! is Friday! As in, five days from now…if you don’t count today! Even though you should! Because EVERY DAY IS A GIFT YOU SHITS. The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! Dec. 8, 2017 5 pm Mountain / 7 pm Eastern Just visit this very website at the appointed time, and you’ll be there! In fact, I’ll probably post the link an hour or so early, just to give folks time to register a chat account and settle in. Together, live, we will enjoy… – Seven terrible Xmas specials – Vintage commercials – Strange, unearthed holiday music videos – An original song by Adam Lore and Dr. Airlines – A lesser, worse original song by me – Magic by Wes Iseli – Host segments featuring myself and Amanda (vote on who’s prettier!) – Live chat with the funniest people on the internet – Various curios, oddities, and bizarrehoods – A surprise free gift for everyone who tunes in! – …more! All of this (…and more!) w...

Right, okay, the super important thing to remember is that the 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! goes down in just over one week! The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! Dec. 8, 2017 5 pm Mountain / 7 pm Eastern Just come here, to this very website, at the appointed time and you’ll be there! Since I’m so bad with timezones, I feel obligated to remind you that you can RSVP via the Facebook event , which will handle time calculations and reminders for you. Moving right along, I promised more updates as the fateful night neared, and more updates shall ye have! – Amanda is back, and not theoretically anymore! As of today, I have her segments all ready to go. Amanda has been a fixture of the Bash! since the second year, which was the year that formalized the variety-show format we’ve used ever since. Every year she’s been funnier than me, and this year’s clips feature at least three of my all-time favorite Amanda moments. I hope you enjoy! – The Xmas Bash! wil...

The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! is just over two weeks away! Don’t believe me?! Here’s proof: The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! Dec. 8, 2017 5 pm Mountain / 7 pm Eastern That’s just over two weeks away! Just visit this very site at the appointed time, and join in the fun! If you like, you can register on Facebook and it will handle the time zone calculations and send you a reminder. So you don’t forget. And it’s important that you don’t forget, because it’s going to be great! I promised updates in the runup to the event, and updates are here! – Firstly, check out the promotional art! This year it was drawn by friends of the website Adam Lore , Casey Roberson , and Mike Emeritz . Thanks guys! It’s incredible! And I hate the way Willie’s looking at me! – Secondly, speaking of Adam Lore …the renaissance man will be debuting a brand new song, “The Interplanetary Christmas Tree,” featuring Dr. Airlines . (Yet another friend of the website!) Th...

I’ll open with the mandatory reminder to clear your calendars. Ahem: The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! Dec. 8, 2017 5 pm Mountain / 7 pm Eastern Yes, the 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! is coming soon. I’ve recorded my host segments, and the image above serves as a little teaser. What manner of shenanigans am I getting up to this year?! I’ve also coordinated with a few other contributors, and will spend the next few weeks getting everything squared away for the December 8 event. I’m trying to host it a little earlier this year than usual, which may hopefully make it easier for folks who work retail or travel around the holiday to attend. It’s going to be a great one, that I can promise you. I’ve unearthed some truly incredible Christmas music videos this time around, and I’ll be introducing you to seven more forgotten Christmas specials you’ll wish you never knew existed. It will be great! One significant change this time around, though, is the...

It’s almost time! The Xmas Bash! is coming! The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! Dec. 8, 2017 5 pm Mountain / 7 pm Eastern What is the Xmas Bash!? Well, it’s a live stream curated by yours truly, featuring seven rightly forgotten Christmas specials of yesteryear, along with some Christmas music you’ll wish you never heard, vintage commercials, skits, special appearances, and other surprises. It’s a fantastic night, and the hardest you will laugh all year…owing mainly to the incredible group of folks in the chat room. You can read all about the genesis and evolution of the Xmas Bash! right here . In short, if you like trash TV, terrible movies, and half-naked gummy bears, this is the event for you. Don’t miss it! I have lots more to announce in the coming weeks, but for now: mark your calendars. Or express your interest on Facebook ! It will handle the time zone calculations and reminders for you. We’ve been doing this incredible event for five solid years, and ...

Happy October! I know, it’s weird, I didn’t expect to live this long, either. October is one of the months I look forward to most on Noiseless Chatter, and I really hope you do, too. We’ve got a lot coming up, and so I wanted to take a moment to let you know how the coming weeks will unfold. – Trilogy of Terror: Oh yes. Trilogy of Terror is one of my favorite features to write, and though we’re only into its third year of existence, the feedback and traffic I get from it tells me you enjoy it, too. Each year I write longform essays about three related horror films in the weeks leading up to Halloween. I’ve got some truly memorable ones for you this time around, along with a theme I very much hope you’ll find as fascinating as I do. I have the first two posts drafted already, and just need to take screenshots to finish them off. I’m thrilled to get to share these with you. What films will they be? You’ll have to tune in and find out. The first installment g...