Noiseless Chatter Archive

…right, hello! It’s been a while. There are a few reasons for this, and a few impacts to the site. I’ll get to the latter in a moment but, first, an explanation: I don’t have one. Things are tough. I don’t think there’s anybody in the world who doesn’t understand that to some degree right now. I’m not a special case. Things are very, very, very difficult all around for a multitude of reasons. In addition, however, I struggle with chronic depression, often leaving me drained even during those quiet moments when nothing is pressing down upon me. Also, I am attempting to make my living as a writer and editor. That’s great. I don’t regret it. But it’s also very difficult and time consuming. (I’m sure you could have guessed that, but it’s worth being clear.) The time that I have to spare for this site and a few other hobbies is…limited, to say the least. None of which is to say that I don’t want to write things, or can’t think of what to write. In the case of October’s Trilogy o...

For personal reasons I will not be able to post the Trilogy of Terror stuff this year. Thank you for understanding. I apologize for the short notice.

Many thanks to everyone who was able to tune in to the Monster Bash! Hopefully everything went well, because Discord might be an actual streaming solution moving forward. Getting the episodes together for this one was a lot of fun, and I got to share a few shows that I wasn’t able to show an Xmas Bash! Also, I found more than enough content to justify another one of these if there’s any interest. At some point. Maybe. For now, though, here are the spoo-ooky episodes we enjoyed: ALF , “I’ve Got a New Attitude” Laverne & Shirley , “Haunted House” The Cosby Show , “Cliff’s Nightmare” Barney Miller , “Werewolf” Perfect Strangers , “Fright Night” Small Wonder , “The Lawsonville Horror” Night Court , “Come Back to the Five and Dime, Stephen King, Stephen King” And here are the contents of the spoo-ooky ju-ukebox: Phish, “Ghost” Hot Chip, “Spell” (Superorganism remix) Cliff Richard, “Devil Woman” Jen Terri, “Get Down Goblin” Violent Femmes, “Nightmares” Harry Nilsson, “Are You...

It’s time! The stream begins at 8:00 pm Eastern, which is about an hour from me posting this. Head over to this link and join the fun! You still have a bit of time to set up an account if necessary. I’ll see you soon!

This is your reminder to join me at Uplink — the virtual convention brought to you by Long Island Retro — this weekend. I will be hosting two panels on the main stage, and there are plenty of other reasons to join the fun. The entire schedule for the weekend is available here , so do check it out. Both of my panels take place Saturday. Anatomy of a Scream: Aug. 8, 4 p.m. Eastern Join me for a trip through the Spencer Mansion and beyond as we look at how Resident Evil structures its scares. We’ll dissect some of the game’s most famous moments to learn how they work — and why they work — and take a few detours through the larger series as well. Live Q&A to follow. All Things Inti Creates: Aug. 8, 9 p.m. Eastern The team at Inti Creates will join me live from Japan for a chat about the company, its history, its games, and more. Inti Creates is responsible for the Mega Man Zero Series, Mega Man 9, Mega Man 10, Blaster Master Zero, Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon, Azure St...

I tell you, you wait all day for a bus, and then like 10 of them show up at once. And they’re ALL GREAT BUSES. Whatever; point is, I have a lot of things to announce. The First-Ever Noiseless Chatter Monster Bash! I will be hosting a livestream at 8:00 p.m. Eastern on Aug. 22 to celebrate the launch of my book on Resident Evil! It’s not mandatory to sign up through Facebook, but you can view the event and register here . Irritatingly, Facebook doesn’t seem to autocalculate timezones anymore, probably because someone found the feature useful. So, again, that’s 6 p.m. Mountain time / 8 p.m. Eastern time on Aug. 22. If you’re not in one of those timezones, make sure you use exactly the same technology Facebook is no longer using to figure out when you need to be there. This is the First-Ever Noiseless Chatter Monster Bash! If you recall, last year was the first year we missed out on an Xmas Bash! This, I hope, will make up for it, and it will share a similar format. Live chat...

As I’ve mentioned, I will be a guest at the virtual gaming convention Uplink this year. I can also share a bit more information…but mainly I’m reminding you that this is exactly one month away! If you haven’t gotten your tickets yet, do so ! It’s only $10 for an entire weekend of great, live programming, and if you take a look at the guest list you’ll see that there’s a lot of excellent stuff in store. Such as…well… Yes, TripleJump , the best boys of YouTube will be there as well! What’s more, they will be doing a live episode of Worst Games Ever, which is, without exaggeration, the best and funniest show on all of YouTube. I’ve said that before, so let me take a moment to do the impossible and try to narrow it down to my favorite 10 episodes, in chronological order, just so diving in won’t be so daunting: – Rogue Warrior – Catwoman – London Racer – Smarties: Meltdown – 3D Pets Volume 1 – Hulk Hogan’s Main Event – Agent Hugo – Knight Rider – Shadow the Hedge...

Saints be praised; I’ve added a page to the site! You can even look at it ! It contains all of the press the book has received so far, as well as the interviews I have done and the podcast appearances I have made. I’ll keep it updated as best I can, but if there’s some coverage you find before I do, let me know! There will also be some purchasing information once the book is released, and I plan on creating a clickable version of the book’s back matter as well. The book comes out next month which is horrifying. In all seriousness, though, I can’t wait to get it into your hands. As you’ll see on the page, people seem to like it. And you’re people. YOU DO THE MATH.

I’ve mentioned it before — and sometimes even had the presence of mind to post them here! — but I’ve been writing for TripleJump on YouTube since the middle of last year. That definitely has contributed to my decrease in output here. My scripts are tens of thousands of words long, and they require research and first-hand experience on my end. Those aren’t complaints, but I’d like you to know that I’m still writing! My words are just being used for feature-length videos(!) instead of blog posts. Because a lot of those videos will take the place of active work here, I’ve set up a TripleJump page — accessible from the left-hand navigation — where I will post links to all of the videos I’ve written. Check them out. I hope you’ll enjoy them. It’s a new experience for me to write things that other people perform. It’s not the first time, but it’s the first time I’ve done it steadily. But what about this site? Well, stay tuned. Book news should be coming soon, and I have s...

There’s no reason to dance around it: The Xmas Bash is cancelled this year. I’m sorry. That’s something else I don’t want to dance around; I am very sorry. If you’re still reading, we can dance a little now. I live in a state of being constantly overwhelmed. Those of you who know me in real life — and probably at least a few of you who only know me from my various creative endeavors — will already know that I do that to myself. Certainly many things happen unexpectedly, but I keep myself in a state of extreme busyness at almost all times. I sign up for things I probably won’t have time for, and then I force myself to make time for them. I feel one project winding down — and the relief that comes with that — but immediately launch into something else. I’m rarely working on only one thing. That’s a coping mechanism, I’ve learned; the more I overwhelm myself, the less attention I can spare for what’s happening around me. That was very helpful in my childhood, and I nev...

Things have been quiet, so let me address that first. 50% of the reason for that is me being busy. I submitted another draft of my book to the publisher at the end of July, and I’ve been working regularly on scripts for Triple Jump . Subscribe to them if you haven’t, because they’re fantastic. In fact, the latest video I wrote happened to be uploaded today. Check it out and get a sense of why Triple Jump is a large — though rewarding — time investment: Yeah. That’s 72 minutes of me going on about Batman games, and obviously the time it took to research them, find them, and play them was…well, you can imagine what it was. I’ve also been working at my actual job, of course, and moving into the home I recently bought. That’s…a lot. The rest of it, though, is me being drained and fatigued and frustrated by the world and what’s happening in this country specifically. It’s disheartening to see photos of overcrowded detention centers and to read the stories of mistreatment...

I announced it on the Facebook page — be sure to follow that if you don’t already for quick updates that don’t warrant a full post — but I wanted to wait until I had something specific to show you before I announced it here: I have officially joined the Triple Jump team as a writer. You can watch the first video I’ve scripted — posted this very day — here: So, a few notes on this. Firstly, Every X Ranked Worst to Best is a brand-new show on the channel, and so far I’m the only one writing for it! That doesn’t mean it’s my show in any way — in fact, please allow me to make clear that it is not — but it does mean I get to help it find a voice and an audience, which is immensely flattering to me. Secondly, you may have come across Ben and Peter at either WhatCulture or Vidiots before. Triple Jump is their personal venture, and I certainly encourage everyone to like and subscribe to their channel. They don’t just make some of the funniest video-game stuff on the inter...

This is not a drill, a joke, or a trick. I have in my possession a complete and very real script for a never-produced episode of ALF . This is what I was referring to last week . I didn’t want to promise anything until I actually held the script in my hands. Any number of things could have gone wrong. The post office could have eaten it. The script could have been incomplete. The whole thing could have been a hoax. But here I am, with 30 minutes’ worth of never-seen ALF in my grubby little hands. It’s called “Home Sweet Home” and I’m dying to tell you all about it…but that will have to wait. This is a piece of television history that was almost lost to the ages. Granted, it’s a small piece of something nobody likes, but still. It’s something . And it’s a hell of a damn find. In July I reviewed the ALF Sega Master System game , and I was pretty certain that was the last ALF project to warrant coverage. I even ended that review by saying, “Tune in next year when I...

HELLO as I’m sure was pretty clear I’ve had a difficult month. But I’m here, I’m okay, and I have some updates I think you will enjoy. – The book: The loss of Mike a few weeks back made me profoundly unproductive, which I think most people would agree is understandable. As such, I wasn’t able to finish the next draft of my book as quickly as I’d have liked. It’s still been submitted ahead of the publisher’s deadline, so there’s no problem there, but I had hoped to have it finished sooner and work on some blog stuff instead. That didn’t happen, but things will pick up very soon. – Fiction into Film: Ghost World won the poll for my next Fiction into Film. That was the project I had hoped to tackle over the past few weeks, but it will have to happen a little later instead. I’m planning to have it done at some point in March, so that it’s out before this year’s Rule of Three starts up in April. More on that in a bit. – Advertising: Every so often I get an alert ...

Right! So, it’s been quiet around here, I’m not dead, you know the drill. But since I haven’t updated the site in 2019 yet, I wanted to provide some information about what’s going on, tease a few features, and open something up to a vote. First, the book. I know, I know, I wish I could actually tell you about it. Hopefully soon. My publisher will have to do its own announcement first, and then I’ll never shut up about it, I promise. Progress has been great. I sent them a complete draft toward the end of 2018, and they provided a lot of useful, extremely thoughtful feedback. I was happy with the draft (as far as drafts can make one happy), and they’ve unquestionably given me the tools to make it better. Posting much of the feedback here would give away the subject, so I’ll instead just include this one general bullet instead. That felt good to receive! I can sleep again knowing I didn’t submit a big heap of crap. There were definitely a few things I did that they we...

I have to admit, while I didn’t expect to take a break after this year’s Xmas Bash, I’m very glad I did. It feels good to just do…nothing. That obviously won’t (and can’t!) last forever, but for now, I hope you’ll understand if I take the end of December off. I won’t be completely gone. At the very least, I want to post a best-games-of-my-year list like I did for 2017 . I’m still trying to decide on a format, though, since once again I’ll be allowing games I missed from the previous year. And though I say I’ll take the end of December off, I’m actually working on the second draft of my book. The publisher got back to me with feedback that was thorough, useful, and honestly flattering! The rewrite won’t take nearly as much work as the first draft did, but there are a few things I’ll need to really rework, so it’s no small task, either. So…be patient. Enjoy the holidays. Hang out with friends, exchange gifts, consume alcoholic lactose. You’ve got better things to do th...

Happy Labor Day! Let’s talk about Halloween and Christmas. The two biggest holidays for this blog are closer than you may realize. I recently announced my Halloween plans on the official Facebook page , so be sure to follow that if you aren’t already. It’s sometimes easier for me to push quick news there if I don’t have time to write an actual post. In short, I’ve been busy with the book lately, so don’t worry…I haven’t stopped writing, even if this blog seems a bit slow lately. You’re going to get a really great, long, intensive piece in physical form, and it’s horror-related, so I know it’s something you’ll enjoy. Just be patient; I will make the official announcement as soon as I can. To make up for my online absence, though, this year’s Trilogy of Terror feature will be getting a bonus entry in the form of the long-overdue return of Fiction Into Film. Fiction Into Film is a series I deeply enjoy writing for, and one I truly love, but it’s also one that takes a massi...

Is it too soon to plan the rest of the year? When you’re someone who overstretches themselves at every opportunity…no! For a while, even at my slowest, I was able to produce one new post here every two weeks. I thought that was a pace that was fair to both of us. But time makes fools of us all, as a wise man once observed, so I wanted to check in and let you know what to expect for the rest of 2018. – For starters, I’m sorry. I know it stinks to keep visiting the page to find nothing new. I did know this was going to happen, and I tried to make sure I gave you a long, classic-style ALF review to remind you that I’m not going anywhere…but I have another large project that’s been dominating my time. – That project, of course, is the book . I’m still not able to reveal much about it specifically, but I assure you that while I’m not pumping out blog content, I am still writing; you’ll just get it all in one shot when the book is released, possibly next year. I’m making ...

I don’t feel so bad that I’ve let these past few weeks pass without a new post. I’m proud of this year’s Rule of Three, and I’ve seen great discussion come from it both here and on social media. These articles deserve the room to breathe, and I thank you, sincerely, for reading my crap! However, I didn’t intend to let the site languish. I have some other article ideas in mind, including one you might actually enjoy! The problem is that a few weeks ago, I was rear-ended at a traffic light. I was at a complete stop. Another vehicle hit me from behind, and the driver admitted his was using his cellphone and not paying attention to what he was doing. Pretty cut and dry, but my brand new car is smashed up pretty good, and I sustained a neck injury that I hope is minor but which my doctor is reluctant to be so optimistic about. I do intend to post more stuff. Great stuff! And soon! But I wanted to apologize for the unexpected downtime. I spend 8-10 hours each day sitti...

Well hello! I’ve been working for the past couple of weeks on the big, annual April feature, Rule of Three. That’s my series in which I take a look at three related comedy films, beginning on April Fool’s Day. The second and third entries will post on April 8 and April 15, giving each of them a solid week to breathe and be discussed. This time around, I’ll be focusing on the three Ghostbusters films. I’ve even added the schedule to the Trilogy of Terror page. (I guess I really should give Rule of Three its own page soon, huh?) While there, you can check out the previous features on Muppet films and Pee-wee films. They’re great articles. I should know, because I wrote them. We’ll get into Ghostbusters pretty extensively over the next few weeks, so I won’t say much now except that the first two films are quite important to me, and revisiting them through a critical lens was damned interesting. I’m glad I took the opportunity to do so. The third film, obviously, is ...