Noiseless Chatter Archive

I wrote this a few years ago for The Lost Worlds of Power: Volume 0 , but since that’s no longer in print, and since people seem to be mocking the idea of a proposed Tetris film, I figured I’d post it here. I have no idea what the plot of the film would be, but I think you’ll agree that if it’s not a hard-boiled murder mystery it’s a waste of everyone’s time. Chapter One It was a beautiful day. It’s always a beautiful day when I’m chained to a desk. Funny how it only rains when I need to be outside. Then again I can’t complain. I always love a good joke. I pored over the files on my desk. Shut my eyes. Squinted. Maybe when I opened them I’d find something I couldn’t find before. But no. That never works. I should know. I’ve closed and opened my eyes many times in my forty-someodd years and never once did things get clearer. Just papers. Receipts. Report cards. Junior’s history textbook with some abstract scribbling in the margins. The kid had promise. As long as what...

Almost exactly 12 months in the making, The Lost Worlds of Power is available right now for your downloading and reading pleasure. Contents: Foreword by H. Z. Eleven “Renegade,” by Jeff Zoerner “Milon’s Secret Castle,” by R J Burgess “Bad Dudes,” by Ramona Donohue “Yo! Noid,” by Jerod Mackert “Battletoads,” by Philip J Reed “Monster Party,” by Tomm Hulett “California Games,” by Matthew McKinley “Legendary Wings,” by Guy Vollen “Marble Madness,” by James Lawless “Double Dragon Warrior,” by Theodore James Geise “The California Raisins: The Grape Escape,” by Samuel Clementine “Linus Spacehead’s Cosmic Crusade,” by J. Paul Roe Download it here ! The Lost Worlds of Power is a fiction anthology in celebration of the original Worlds of Power series. This volume features 12 unique literary adaptations of classic (and maybe not so classic…) NES games, forming a very interesting cross-section of styles and approaches. From the dry to the insane, from the satirical to the...

Prior to the release of The Lost Worlds of Power, each author selected for inclusion will be given the floor. I’ve asked them to talk about themselves, their approach to the project, and anything else they’d like to say up front. I’ve also asked them to avoid spoilers, so have no fear of those. Anyway, week ten: J. Paul Roe, author of “Linus Spacehead’s Cosmic Crusade.” Who am I? I’m the dripping, crimsoned keys of Hemingway’s Corona #3 and I’m Fowler’s blood-mottled brow. I’m Gore Vidal’s perfect sentence written on a suicide note. I’m a thousand monkeys chained to a thousand fucking typewriters. I put words together to make them do things. Sometimes the words are meant to sell a product or service. Other times, the words are meant to entertain. In the case of “Linus Spacehead’s Cosmic Crusade,” the words were meant to be a really long, awful joke. I succeeded, or I failed. Despite the completely absurd subject matter and the fact that I submitted the entire manuscrip...

Prior to the release of The Lost Worlds of Power, each author selected for inclusion will be given the floor. I’ve asked them to talk about themselves, their approach to the project, and anything else they’d like to say up front. I’ve also asked them to avoid spoilers, so have no fear of those. Anyway, week nine: R J Burgess, author of “Milon’s Secret Castle.” Literally everything I know about the NES game Milon’s Secret Castle comes from the Angry Video Game Nerd . I’m ashamed to say that despite owning every Nintendo console ever released in Europe, I never actually owned, or even so much as played, a copy of the game I eventually decided to write a novella about. In fact, I didn’t even know Milon’s Secret Castle was a thing until I was already laughing my head off at it on YouTube. And yet, when the Lost Words of Power competition came up last year, it was one of the first games to spring to mind. “Why’s that,” you ask? Well, before I give you an answer to that burning...