Noiseless Chatter Archive

Every week until the release of The Lost Worlds of Power , one author selected for inclusion will be given the floor. I’ve asked them to talk about themselves, their approach to the project, and anything else they’d like to say up front. I’ve also asked them to avoid spoilers, so have no fear of those. Anyway, week two: Jeffrey Zoerner, author of “Renegade.” Greetings, earthlings. My name is Jeff Zoerner, and I was lucky enough to have “Renegade,” my submission to the Lost Worlds of Power project, accepted for inclusion. Wow, you must be thinking, now I want to learn all about this guy. No problem. I will indulge your curiosity by presenting myself in easy-to-read question and answer format. You’re welcome! Who are you? I am a complete fucking loser. Unfortunately, everybody loves me, so I can’t kill myself. That would be cruel. Well, wait…not everyone loves me. Those snarky bastards at the International 3-Day Novel Contest have rejected my submissions four years ru...

  ALF Reviews: The ALFies! (Season 1) Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first installment of The ALFies! It’s like an awards show, but in text. And about  ALF . And I’m presenting this shit in my boxers. Anyway, I figured I’d do this after each season to sort of exorcise myself of whatever pent up frustrations remain. Of course, since you guys bought me the fucking German  ALF  boxed set (16 DVDs, y’all…) I’m going to have to go back and re-watch season one at some point so that I can review the scenes cut from syndication. …I’m never going to escape this, am I? So sit back and enjoy The ALFies, brought to you by Pizza Barge, Jackrabbit Courier, and that hideous god-damned ALF figurine I found on Google images that’s going to serve as my award statuette and probably try to touch you in the middle of the night. Without further ado… The ALFie for… BEST ACTOR THE MIDGET ALF  is by turns awful, embarrassing, and boring…but one actor manages to make me feel warm a...

Every week until the release of The Lost Worlds of Power , one author selected for inclusion will be given the floor. I’ve asked them to talk about themselves, their approach to the project, and anything else they’d like to say up front. I’ve also asked them to avoid spoilers, so have no fear of those. Anyway, week one: Guy Vollen, author of “Legendary Wings.” I’m thrilled to have a story chosen for inclusion in The Lost Worlds of Power , and I can’t wait to read the other authors’ stories. I’m also glad Philip has graciously invited me to write a few words about my entry, “Legendary Wings,” as it gives me another chance to spout off about this project while it comes together. So, to Philip, James, and to all the writers and artists involved, thank you (in advance) for what I expect will be a very exciting and fun reading experience. To find the roots of my story, I suppose it would help to go back, way back, to when I was nine or ten years old. Sometime around the...