Noiseless Chatter Archive

Almost exactly 12 months in the making, The Lost Worlds of Power is available right now for your downloading and reading pleasure. Contents: Foreword by H. Z. Eleven “Renegade,” by Jeff Zoerner “Milon’s Secret Castle,” by R J Burgess “Bad Dudes,” by Ramona Donohue “Yo! Noid,” by Jerod Mackert “Battletoads,” by Philip J Reed “Monster Party,” by Tomm Hulett “California Games,” by Matthew McKinley “Legendary Wings,” by Guy Vollen “Marble Madness,” by James Lawless “Double Dragon Warrior,” by Theodore James Geise “The California Raisins: The Grape Escape,” by Samuel Clementine “Linus Spacehead’s Cosmic Crusade,” by J. Paul Roe Download it here ! The Lost Worlds of Power is a fiction anthology in celebration of the original Worlds of Power series. This volume features 12 unique literary adaptations of classic (and maybe not so classic…) NES games, forming a very interesting cross-section of styles and approaches. From the dry to the insane, from the satirical to the...

Prior to the release of The Lost Worlds of Power, each author selected for inclusion will be given the floor. I’ve asked them to talk about themselves, their approach to the project, and anything else they’d like to say up front. I’ve also asked them to avoid spoilers, so have no fear of those. Anyway, week ten: J. Paul Roe, author of “Linus Spacehead’s Cosmic Crusade.” Who am I? I’m the dripping, crimsoned keys of Hemingway’s Corona #3 and I’m Fowler’s blood-mottled brow. I’m Gore Vidal’s perfect sentence written on a suicide note. I’m a thousand monkeys chained to a thousand fucking typewriters. I put words together to make them do things. Sometimes the words are meant to sell a product or service. Other times, the words are meant to entertain. In the case of “Linus Spacehead’s Cosmic Crusade,” the words were meant to be a really long, awful joke. I succeeded, or I failed. Despite the completely absurd subject matter and the fact that I submitted the entire manuscrip...

  ALF Reviews: “Varsity Drag” (season 2, episode 25) And so, dear readers, we come to the end of season two, and the midway point of this entire project. I’ve been thinking about it, recently, and I have a few things I’d like to say about the experiment as a whole, but since Season Two Reviewed is coming up so soon, I think I’ll save it for that. Before we dig into this — an episode I’ve been looking forward to since we started and the last episode before the precipitous drop in quality that is season three — I do want to make an announcement. Next week there will be no  ALF . That’s because next Thursday is the day that  The Lost Worlds of Power  is finally getting released. So tune in for that. I promise, it’ll be worth postponing the season two bonus features. After that, we’ll be back to business as usual. A handful of wrap-up articles, and then we dive headlong into the shallow pool that is  ALF ‘s homestretch. Also, I will very soon be announcing the detai...

Prior to the release of The Lost Worlds of Power, each author selected for inclusion will be given the floor. I’ve asked them to talk about themselves, their approach to the project, and anything else they’d like to say up front. I’ve also asked them to avoid spoilers, so have no fear of those. Anyway, week nine: R J Burgess, author of “Milon’s Secret Castle.” Literally everything I know about the NES game Milon’s Secret Castle comes from the Angry Video Game Nerd . I’m ashamed to say that despite owning every Nintendo console ever released in Europe, I never actually owned, or even so much as played, a copy of the game I eventually decided to write a novella about. In fact, I didn’t even know Milon’s Secret Castle was a thing until I was already laughing my head off at it on YouTube. And yet, when the Lost Words of Power competition came up last year, it was one of the first games to spring to mind. “Why’s that,” you ask? Well, before I give you an answer to that burning...

Mark your calendars. (And erase all the previous marks I told you to make.) The Lost Worlds of Power will be released as a free ebook download on Thursday, November 27. It’s been a while. And it will have been worth it. Thank you all for your patience. I may have an additional reward for that patience, since I know this has been frustrating. Stay tuned.

  ALF Reviews: “We Are Family” (season 2, episode 24) You might remember in my review for “Tequila” that I said the next episode was one I’ve been looking forward to for a long time, but that was bullshit because I’m an idiot. I have no clue what “We Are Family” is about. The one I was thinking of is “Varsity Blues,” which comes next. I’m kind of disappointed, because I wanted to end the season on some kind of ridiculous nonsense instead of one I’m predisposed to enjoy. WOE IS ME My confusion actually carries through much of the first scene, because Willie is discussing the very issue I’m looking forward to being addressed in “Varsity Blues”: the fact that ALF muthafuckin bankrupts these idiots. Granted, the dialogue doesn’t get quite that far, but when an episode opens with Willie chiding ALF for racking up a $300 phone bill…well, that seems like a pretty good ingress to dealing with the larger financial problem. It’s not, though. It’s the opening to an irrelevant episode about Ja...