Noiseless Chatter Archive

Last week I took a detailed look at every single episode of The Trouble with Larry , the worst sitcom I’ve ever seen. It was painful, but there were only three episodes so I didn’t think it was quite painful enough . This week, I’m reviewing the three episodes that never made it to air. That’s right, these episodes weren’t even worth airing after CBS paid for them. Surely they must be good! And that’s not all. Just as I have obtained the complete script for a lost episode of ALF , I have managed to get a hold of a script for an unproduced episode of The Trouble with Larry . It’s called “Pinata Full of Bones,” it’s written by Charlie Kaufman(!), and there’s a mummy in it. I cover that as well, so be sure to check it out. Closer to home, I’m hard at work on this year’s Rule of Three , in which I take a look at three related comedy films beginning April 1. That’s one week from today, so be sure to come back then to read about some things that are marginally better than The...

In 1993, just after Perfect Strangers ended forever, Bronson Pinchot starred in a new show called The Trouble with Larry . It was cancelled in about the time it took you to read that sentence, so the odds are good that you missed it. I know I did. I adored Perfect Strangers as a kid and definitely remember commercials on CBS trying to get me to watch The Trouble with Larry , but I never got the chance. It ran for only three weeks and disappeared forever, leaving a legitimate fascination behind in my mind. There isn’t much information about The Trouble with Larry on the internet. I can confirm it existed, find the episode titles, and…that’s about all, really. What was this show? Could it really have been so bad CBS needed to delete it from the schedule before anyone accidentally saw it? Why does nobody talk about it, even as a punchline? Well, in the year of our lord 2019, I set out to answer these questions. Or to say cursewords about the show and take funny screen...

This is not a drill, a joke, or a trick. I have in my possession a complete and very real script for a never-produced episode of ALF . This is what I was referring to last week . I didn’t want to promise anything until I actually held the script in my hands. Any number of things could have gone wrong. The post office could have eaten it. The script could have been incomplete. The whole thing could have been a hoax. But here I am, with 30 minutes’ worth of never-seen ALF in my grubby little hands. It’s called “Home Sweet Home” and I’m dying to tell you all about it…but that will have to wait. This is a piece of television history that was almost lost to the ages. Granted, it’s a small piece of something nobody likes, but still. It’s something . And it’s a hell of a damn find. In July I reviewed the ALF Sega Master System game , and I was pretty certain that was the last ALF project to warrant coverage. I even ended that review by saying, “Tune in next year when I...