Noiseless Chatter Archive

Well, Serious Week (as friend of the website Ridley and enemy of the website Rachael Ray dubbed it) is at an end. Maybe you’d think I could use a break after that. Maybe you’d be right! But either way, it coincides with my move back to civilization! As of this morning I’ll be in Denver proper again, and I have strong intentions of kicking butt on this blog, now that I’ll have a place of my own and — presumably — more time to write and / or eat sad nachos in my underpants. I don’t know when my internet will be set up, so if this week is quiet, that’s why. There will be a new ALF review on Thursday at the very least, so if you want to make fun of me behind my back, that comments section may be a good place to do it. In the meantime, as ever, thanks for reading. Oh, and if you’re wondering where the ads went…I felt bad “profiting” off of the things I was posting last week, so I removed them. I could put them back, but, frankly, I’d like to be able to post things like ...

I would like you to think about some of the people you love most. It doesn’t matter how many, or how few. What matters is that you care about them. And now, with that person, or those people, in mind, I would like you to read the below. These are excerpts from some very brave and moving pieces of writing that were sent to me. They are presented anonymously, and that’s important, because these are not things that should be attached to a specific identity. That would make it easier for you to push them away. You don’t know these people, after all. But you do. Because something like what you will read below is affecting, right now, somebody you care about deeply. I was surprised by a lot of what was sent to me, and I know it only scratched the surface. What you are being given here is a tremendously important gift: you are being made privy to the things the people you love most are too frightened to say. I promise you that more people than you realize are dealing ...

I never expected I’d be writing one of these about Robin Williams. After all, I never really liked the guy. I don’t mean that in a personal sense. I mean that his “identity” never did much for me. He was good at what he did — that much, it’s fair to say, was obvious — but what he did wasn’t what I was interested in. And now he’s dead, and I’ve done as much reflecting and soul searching as I’ve ever done. The most since Salinger passed a few years ago. So why is it that the death of an actor / comedian I didn’t even enjoy hit me at least as hard as the death of the man who wrote one of the most important books I’ve ever read? I know why: the dialogue that’s been opened. I was out the night the death of Robin Williams was reported. By the time I got back it was all over my social feeds, and well beyond the point that people were wondering if it was a hoax. It was not a hoax. People listed their favorite Robin Williams movies. I went to sleep. The reason I went to ...

In the Peep Show episode “Jeremy’s Mummy” (series 5, episode 4), was Mark raped? The answer is yes. This is an easy one. And yet…is it? Some background — though, to be frank, not much is necessary: Jeremy, Mark’s roommate, has his mother visit. In tow is her current boyfriend, and his daughter Natalie. Mark does briefly wonder if he feels anything for Natalie, but pretty quickly decides he does not. After a night of drinking, Mark wakes up to find Natalie having sex with him. He tells her to stop. He tells her he doesn’t want to. But she continues. This is rape. If there’s anybody out there who sincerely disagrees, I’d love to hear that argument. And yet…if it is rape…why don’t I mind it? Don’t get me wrong; I’m not supporting the act itself, but it doesn’t put me off enjoying the episode as a whole. In fact, “Jeremy’s Mummy” may even be one of my favorites. But a main character is raped . I can’t even question that. This man is sexually assaulted while w...

This actually came a while ago, but I forgot to post about it, and only realized as I was boxing stuff up that I owed Phil Malkowski (who sometimes posts here as Another Phil ) some genuine gratitude for sending me his copy of Project: ALF . If you aren’t aware, this was the made-for-TV movie that tied up the loose ends from the sitcom. It aired a few years later on a completely different network, and aside from Paul Fusco it retains none of the original cast. Needless to say, I’m sure it’s fantastic. I have actually seen this before. In fact, I watched it when it first aired…and may not have finished it. I certainly didn’t ever feel compelled to watch it again. I remember it being awful, and as a kid who liked the sitcom, the prospect of dusting this off after episode 99 is not an exciting one. Regardless, this was the last piece of the puzzle, and I’ll review this in its proper place, after season four. I may break it into three posts, but we’ll see. You can clic...

  ALF Reviews: “The Boy Next Door” (season 2, episode 13) Who is Brian Tanner? I asked a similar question about Willie a few weeks back, and you can probably guess why: that was an episode that, at long last, made a sincere effort to answer it. This time I’m asking it about Brian. Not because the episode’s going to answer it, but because as of this episode, Brian Tanner is dead. This stretch of three episodes has had me worried for a while. “Hail to the Chief” was terrible, but not as bad as I had feared. I think the reason is I don’t hate it so much is that it managed to be extremely bland and forgettable. The “Kate dreams of ALF being president” thing was no less stupid than I expected, but the episode as a whole is pretty easy to overlook, which is the nicest thing I can say about it. (In all honesty, though, I’m still glad to say it.) Then we had “ALF’s Special Christmas.” Which I’d rather not talk about ever again. Now it’s “The Boy Next Door,” which actually has a lot more go...