If you are reading this, it’s because I have lost my battle with my demons. It has been a very long battle. It was not a pleasant one. It was not a battle that was satisfying. It was a battle that I was doomed to lose at some point. I’ve said before that I need to win the fight against my demons every single day, but my demons only need to win it once. They came very close a few times in the past. Eventually, I got worn down enough that they won. I’m sorry. If it’s any consolation, I tried. I tried very, very hard for a very, very long time. I cannot thank all of you enough. For all of my misfortune to have had to deal with mental health problems and neurological issues for so long, I’ve always been exceptionally fortunate — beyond all reason or explanation — to have a better audience than I’ve ever deserved. I’ve also consistently had better friends than I ever deserved. In a lot of ways, I’ve been very lucky. But I am so tired. I am so drained. I have fought every day ...
ALF Reviews: “Hail to the Chief” (season 2, episode 11) When I started this review series, I tried not to look at plot summaries. I saw a few, because that’s what happens when you use the internet for anything ever, but I more or less forgot them quickly. A few specific plots, however, stuck in my head, either because they sounded monumentally stupid, or because some other folks warned me about them. As I mentioned in last week’s review, three of those episodes come right in a row, starting now. This is the Trilogy of Terror, and I’m worried about every one of these. “Hail to the Chief” gets the party started with a fantasy episode about ALF running for president. I’m already not a fan of fantasy episodes of good shows, so tossing an even less consequential plot than usual into this garbage factory isn’t exactly promising. I don’t know. As much as I love Futurama and The Simpsons , the Anthologies of Interest (and its less-structured relatives) and t...
ALF Reviews: “Oh, Pretty Woman” (season 2, episode 7) I’ll probably be accused of being too polite, but season two has been a big pile of fucking shit. It got off to a legitimately good start with “Working My Way Back to You,” but everything else has been an insult to my intelligence at best, and a staple through the scrotum at worst. Okay, granted, we’re not even a third of the way through the season, but the reason I’m not holding out hope is that the storylines have actually been decent…it’s the execution that’s so frustratingly flawed. Unlike season one, which almost never found a story worth telling, season two has already found several, and simply pissed them away. “Take a Look at Me Now” was about Mrs. Ochmonek discovering the central premise of the show: the fact than an alien lives among them. That’s a major occurrence, but all ALF could think to do was stick her on a talk-show and make avocado jokes. Then, last week, ALF used Halloween as an excuse to mingle...
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