The final season of The Office began last week, with the
lowest-rated premiere the show’s ever had. Even lower than the premiere
of the first season, which I’m pretty sure was only watched by people
so that they could give it a voodoo curse. As far as season 9’s
premiere? I think more people witnessed the birth of Christ. So I
thought it would be fitting to look for the silver lining on the cloud
of crap, and highlight each of the 10 times that the US version of the
show succeeded in not being utter shit.
I know I’ll be accused of exaggerating here, but, honestly, I think
I’m totally justified in saying that there were, in fact, ten distinct
times that The Office rose above the level of “outright garbage”
and succeeded in being “arguably watchable.” You may think I’m being
too generous, but I think it’s quite fair.
So join me now as we look back at the ten times The Office managed to narrowly beat the odds, and become something that didn’t reflect poorly on viewers everywhere.
“The Fire,” Season 2, Episode 4
Why It’s Not Shit:
Whenever anybody tells you Ryan is their favorite character, they’re
unquestionably referring to the Ryan of the first few seasons. It
didn’t take
The Office long to undo what could have been their
richest and most interesting character, reducing him to a generic
hipster stereotype and robbing him of his complicated brilliance. This
episode sees the Ryan and Michael dynamic at its best, with a truly
well-handled and ever-shifting sense of power: first Michael attempts
to mentor him, then ridicules him for the vast knowledge he already has,
then humbly appeals for guidance himself, and finally, with
irrelevant triumph, puts Ryan back in place by taunting him about a
small fire he accidentally started. It’s a great, real,
character-driven story that shows these two characters being the flawed —
often awful — human beings they are, without resorting to caricature or
cartooniness.
Why It’s Actually Still Kind of Shit: Jim leads the rest of
the office in a few time-killing games during the evacuation. That’s
fine, but one of them is the rather baldly intentional “Who Would You
Do?” The rest of the desert-island exercises are fun, but openly asking
“yo who do you want to stick your genitals in” to coworkers he barely
knows comes off as perverse, and a bit revolting. Additionally, it’s
odd that Kevin gets yelled at for saying “Pam” before Jim finishes
telling everyone how the game is played. This makes it seem as though
Kevin behaved inappropriately, which is funny, but ultimately, no, that
pretty much is how the game is played…so it’s puzzling that his response
was treated with disgust, as though anyone else’s later responses
shouldn’t be.
Ending on a High Note: A great, early character study showing
Ryan and Michael both behaving like actual people, and Dwight showing
real — not overtly manufactured and instantly undone — weakness. Enjoy
it while you can.
“Take Your Daughter To Work Day,” Season 2, Episode 18
Why It’s Not Shit:
It’s not exactly an episode that weaves several plotlines together,
but its central conceit of introducing children to the office gives
nearly everyone at least one great moment, and it also provides a good
example of how to sketch out the personal lives of these characters
without OH I DONT KNOW SENDING THE WHOLE OFFICE TO THEIR HOUSE FOR SOME
SOCIAL FUNCTION NONE OF THEM WOULD ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT. We also
see Michael at his most vulnerable, Pam displaying a humanizing (as
opposed to irritating) kind of neediness, and Stanley yelling at
Ryan…which is indeed genuinely scary.
Why It’s Actually Still Kind of Shit: Everything about
Michael’s appearance on the children’s show works fine, until the
writers seem to think we need everyone in the room to decide for us what
it means. The short moment between young Michael and the puppet should
be an act of devastating restraint, but instead it’s followed up by
variations on “Hey, that thing you wanted is something you never got,
huh?” A little too on-the-nose, and it hurts the moment substantially.
Also, it ends with Michael and Dwight singing “Teach Your Children,”
which works within the episode but lays the groundwork for every future
episode in which the employees sing and dance for no fucking reason
whatsoever, and otherwise remind you that the show was never as good as
you thought it was.
Ending on a High Note: The interactions between Michael and
Toby’s daughter are a series highlight, and this is a great way to give
so many characters a fun spotlight without it feeling like the isolated
sketch comedy of season eight.
“Grief Counseling,” Season 3, Episode 4
Why It’s Not Shit:
The death of Michael’s old boss is met by the rest of the office with a
notable lack of emotion, but an opportunity to discuss, explore, and
accept death comes in the form of an unfortunate bird who flies into the
glass doors downstairs. “Grief Counseling” is a strange episode that
manages to be sombre without losing sight of the comedy, and manages to
be funny without sacrificing some genuine insight into the human
condition. It’s certainly a chance to explore Michael, whose emotional
responses drive the action of the entire episode, but it’s also a fine
showcase for Pam, who plays into Michael’s depressive fantasies by
designing a respectful casket for the bird, and delivering a monologue
to her hurting boss under the guise of eulogy.
Why It’s Actually Still Kind of Shit: MEANWHILE JIM CALLS SOME PEOPLE TO FIND POTATO CHIPS IN THE LEAST RIVETING SUBPLOT THIS SIDE OF TOBY DANCES FOR COOKIES.
Ending on a High Note: The meeting in which Pam, Ryan and
Kevin relay the plots of popular movies rather than share their own
stories of death is an all-time great. Also, the conclusion of this
episode has a great payoff in “The Return,” when Oscar asks about Dwight
and Creed replies, “You didn’t hear? Decapitated. Whole big thing. We
had a funeral for a bird.”
“Traveling Salesmen,” Season 3, Episode 13
Why It’s Not Shit:
Episodes that pair up characters in interesting ways and give them
each a chance to shine, in the case of pretty much any show, tend to be
quite good. During season 3 of
The Office, the writers still
remembered how to do that in a way that was organic to the situation,
and realistic in terms of the work environment. While the sales calls
themselves are brief we learn a lot about how these people operate day
to day, while the cameras are off. We see normally suave Ryan falter,
learn that the obstinate Stanley has actually built up a valuable
network of business relationships, and we see newcomer Andy scheme his
way to success, despite demonstrating a complete lack of aptitude. This
was back when Andy alternated between conniving and frightening…two
very interesting modes for the character that the show has abandoned in
favor of making him sing all the God damned time.
Why It’s Actually Still Kind of Shit: The Phyllis / Karen
sales call is really just an excuse for a sight gag, and Angela’s glower
during Andy’s final talking head is a bit obvious. But, to be honest,
those are minor complaints, and this is a pretty great half hour of
television.
Ending on a High Note: The entire thing is a high note, catching the office (and The Office)
in a state of flux. New characters have been introduced, and the show
is shaking up and developing existing relationships. These are both
trends that would continue, but with conclusively diminishing returns.
For now, the rewards are great.
“The Return,” Season 3, Episode 14
Why It’s Not Shit:
“The Return” sees multiple plotlines — and ongoing dynamics — pay off
in a single episode: Oscar’s “vacation,” Dwight’s resignation, Angela
and Dwight’s relationship, Jim and Karen’s relationship, Jim and Pam’s
flirtation, Andy’s angling for promotion, the dickishness of Jim’s
pranks, and Andy’s anger issues. It’s a simple episode in which not
much happens, but relationships are changed and characters are further
defined. It’s a watershed episode in a show that at the time cared
about what it meant when its characters said and did things, and Andy
punching the wall is still as shocking a moment now as it was six years
ago…only now it’s shocking because we’ve spent so much time with him as a
defeated doormat that it no longer seems feasible.
Why It’s Actually Still Kind of Shit: The party for Oscar and
Dwight is a collection of unnecessary visual gags (Meredith in a
mustache, Phyllis shaking her breasts around), but the amount of wasted
time in this episode can be measured in seconds, and that’s all we can
really ask.
Ending on a High Note: It’s about time there was a
consequence for Jim’s immaturity, even if he’s not the one facing that
consequence. Andy would return, emasculated, but we do get one truly
brilliant moment with him before he’s changed forever, as he intends to
apply his upwardly-mobile aggressiveness to anger management training
itself, intending to complete it in half the allotted time.
“Product Recall,” Season 3, Episode 21
Why It’s Not Shit: The list of
Office
characters that haven’t become overplayed through the years is a short
one, certainly, but Creed manages somehow to be both a continuing
highlight, and consistent in his characterization. “Product Recall” is
the closest thing we’ve ever had to a Creed episode, and even here he’s
used sparingly. His off-camera shirking of his job responsibilities
drives the plot, and he only really pops up to descend — beautifully —
rung by rung into the levels of despicability. It’s a great and
fittingly dark episode from an era in which the writers didn’t feel the
need to soften blows and humanize monstrous behavior. We also get a
great Andy and Jim pairing, and probably the only genuinely funny prank
on Dwight, with Jim imitating his nemesis…and then receiving some
payback in kind at the end of the episode. “Product Recall” took a lot
of things that
The Office so frequently got wrong, and then did them right.
Why It’s Actually Still Kind of Shit: A Kelly subplot is
never a good sign, but this one has a great moment of Oscar / Kevin
bonding that more than redeems it. It’s disappointing that the cartoons
look nothing like Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck, and Andy pining for a
high school student is beyond creepy, but there’s enough great stuff
here to warrant its inclusion, right down to the perfectly awful moment
at the end, when Creed pockets the money he collected for the woman he
got fired.
Ending on a High Note: Michael’s apology video may go
literally nowhere, but it’s nice to see a crisis situation in this show
that isn’t resolved by the staff hoisting him onto their shoulders and
singing “We Shall Overcome.”
“Dinner Party,” Season 4, Episode 13
Why It’s Not Shit: It’s all kinds of not-shit up in here. If I were to single out just one episode of
The Office
to be spared from a nuclear blast, and I do look forward to that day
that I am put in such a position, this would be the one. It’s
brilliantly acted, terrifyingly raw, and unrelentingly dark. What’s
more, it gives the audience credit. While some of the Jan / Michael
bickering is a bit heavy handed, we’re left with a lot of blanks to fill
in on our own, and even the talking-head moments don’t bother to hammer
home the obvious…they’re legitimately funny, perhaps due to the
genuinely unsettling atmosphere of Michael’s desperate dinner party.
There’s a real feeling of entrapment and helplessness there, and none of
the characters involved know quite how to act. It’s true to life and
it’s human, even down to the surprisingly moving climax that silently
follows each of the characters home for the night. Until this entry, we
haven’t had any episodes on this list that feature the staff leaving
the office for anything other than work-related (ie: understandable)
reasons. Dinner with the boss, however, is a situation both rooted
enough in reality to work, and rife enough with awkwardness to make
horrifying. The cameras follow the staff for good reason here…not like
when they decide to have a charity run for rabies, or Michael gets lost
in his hometown (huh?). Like “Product Recall,” it’s an episode that
takes a lot of the ingredients of the show at its worst, and reassembles
them into a thing of beauty.
Why It’s Actually Still Kind of Shit: Michael ran through a
sliding glass door because he thought he heard the ice cream man. For
that tiny detail, he must have shifted from
well-intentioned-but-a-bit-dumb to Benjy Compson levels of retardation.
Also, Jan’s character change (competent executive to raving lunatic)
lays the groundwork for all too many other characters to do the same
thing…with severely diminishing returns.
Ending on a High Note: Almost nothing but great lines in this
one, though the standout goes to asskissing Andy, when Michael
half-heartedly asks him and Jim if they’d like to think about investing
$10,000 in Jan’s home-made candle business. “Thought about it. I’m
in.”
“Prince Family Paper,” Season 5, Episode 13
Why It’s Not Shit:
As many of the episodes on this list are turning out to be, this one
is a great character showcase: in this case, Dwight. The show doesn’t
always know what to do with Dwight. He’s a psychotically-devoted
businessman, an ignorant farmboy, a sensitive romantic, a violent
maniac, a playful child, a sycophant and a flailing comic boob, cycling
through those roles as any particular script dictates. In this case,
he’s firmly in the first category, and that’s good, because that’s what
should drive him as a character. In “Prince Family Paper” he pairs up
with Michael for some reconnaissance work at a small rival firm. What
they find there, though, is a small family running an honest business,
more interested in securing their own futures than in taking down the
competition. Michael, of course, goes soft when the family extends the
sort of human kindness to him that he wishes he could always expect from
others. Dwight, however, has a different view. “It’s not personal,”
he says, and as callous as he is he has a point. “It’s business.” This
is why Dwight is the most successful salesman. This is why Dwight is
so devoted to his work. This is why Dwight is almost always capable of
being a more interesting character than he usually gets to be. He will
sink a family as long as it’s business, just as quickly as Michael would
spare one in spite of it being business. It’s a great and
appropriately heavy episode which more than earns its bittersweet
resolution.
Why It’s Actually Still Kind of Shit: Unfortunately around a
third of the episode is given over to a pointless and unfunny office
debate about whether or not Hillary Swank is hot. It’s garbage.
Fuckin’ trust me.
Ending on a High Note: While the episode would have been far
better as a Dwight / Michael adventure with little or no input from the
rest of the staff, the A plot is more than strong enough to carry the
episode. Also, Michael’s “bittersweet” speech at the end of the episode
is one of the only times the show truly nailed the mix of comedy and
pathos that should end an episode like this.
“Dream Team,” Season 5, Episode 22
Why It’s Not Shit:
The Michael Scott Paper Company arc is not only the last truly great
thing the show ever did, it’s arguably the single best thing the show
ever did. New boss Charles Miner lends such an air of uncomfortable
change to the familiar surroundings that pretty much any arc that sprung
from it would have been welcome. But Michael crashing hard against
reality when he tries to start his own rival paper company is both a
perfect fit for the character, and an excellent way to ground a show
that was already becoming a bit cartoony. “Dream Team” may or may not
be the best episode of the arc — it’s hard to say, because this
particular storyline is more heavily serialized than anything else — but
it’s a great distillation and exploration both of Michael’s tendency to
dream too big, and why one needs to feel satisfied in his or her own
life. Everything from Michael’s panicky overcooking of French toast for
breakfast to Ryan stealing shoes from a bowling alley to Nana’s lucid
refusal to invest in the company fills in the blanks in such a way the
The Office
really should have been doing since day one. And Pam’s emotional
collapse toward the end of the episode leads to a genuinely moving
conversation between herself and Michael. It’s a mixed moral — the fact
that she quit her job is never quite presented as a good decision — but
it feels like its own kind of happy ending. After all, if we have to
go down, we might as well go down together.
Why It’s Actually Still Kind of Shit: Ryan popping up for
this arc makes perfect sense. Ryan sticking around after this arc makes
no motherfucking sense whatsoever.
Ending on a High Note: Charles Miner installing Dwight as his
number two, making Kevin the receptionist and keeping Jim at arm’s
length makes for some great character comedy, as our perspective is
tweaked just enough to make familiar situations feel fresh. Also, the
fact that Pam ultimately returns to the company as a salesperson leaves
the reception desk wide open for the last great character the show ever
created: the infectiously bubbly and adorably daft Erin.
“Counseling,” Season 7, Episode 2
Why It’s Not Shit: Toby’s role in the show as Michael’s foil so
rarely got a chance to shine, as Michael was always fast to dismiss him
cruelly and Toby — we see clearly — was fast to believe he deserved such
dismissal. In this episode, however, Michael is forced to undergo a
marathon six-hour counseling session with his nemesis, and it results in
probably the last truly interesting character interaction this show’s
had. Michael cycles through refusal, fabrication, anger, abuse, and
finally acceptance in a script that feels like it could have been
written for a two-man stage show. Toby never quite gets a handle on the
situation the way he wishes he did, but he means well, and even has a
genuine moment of breakthrough with Michael…though, of course, once
Michael’s aware that he’s opening up to Toby, he shuts it down
immediately, and storms out of the session. It’s a way for both
characters to have a mutually-fulfilling experience, without sacrificing
the inexplicable one-sided hatred that’s fueled the dynamic between
these characters all along. In the end, they bond briefly over the
uselessness of Gabe in a conversation that would seem at least slightly
meta, if the writers could be counted on to realize that these two are
right, and there’s really no reason for that guy’s continuing presence.
Oh well, at least he dressed as Lady Gaga in the Halloween episode and
oh boy was that fucking funny my God this show sucks.
Why It’s Actually Still Kind of Shit: Dwight’s Pretty Woman subplot genuinely feels like a rejected idea from Everybody Loves Raymond.
It’s absolutely terrible, and probably a pretty good indicator of what
a Dwight Schrute-centered sitcom would look like. THANK GOD NOBODY’S
DOING THAT RIGHT. The better subplot revolves around Pam bluffing her
way to Office Administrator. Why they felt they needed the Dwight
garbage when they already had plenty of stuff going on in this episode
is beyond me.
Ending on a High Note: Dwight’s idea for a daycare center in
the building is kind of worthless, but I do like the sight-gag of an
Insane Clown Posse poster on the wall, with “Insane” and “Posse” crossed
out. It’d be a lot funnier if the camera didn’t obnoxiously zoom in
the make sure we got the joke but what can you do.
Were there any other episodes that weren’t shit? If not, let me know in the comments below. And also you’re wrong.
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